Introduction to half-speed therapy

Dear Gentle Reader,

I am sure that you, like every other human that has ever lived, have been stressed. For me it feels like my day to day life is filled with panic, cursing, and the inevitable feeling that everything is about to go wrong. For example, I have sat in my house, almost unemployed, for the last two weeks while I have been waiting for my car to come back from the shop. They say that boredom is the mother of invention, and I am proud to say that I have invented a new form of art.

YouTube has a amazing feature that lets you control the speed that the video plays. I have no idea why this might be useful for the majority of people, but for those who want to discover unending joy, all you have to do is turn the speed of the video to half speed. Just look for the little gear on the right-hand side of the bottom bar, that should give you a pop-up menu to control the speed. While I may be new to this art, I have found some excellent examples of videos that are made better when you watch them at half the speed. Just keep in mind that this is not a comprehensive list, just the first dabblings of something much greater. When you are done reading this, go out and find your own. Open your mind to the wonders that await.

“Shake The Death:” Bruno Mars Predictive Text Song – by Good Mythical Morning.

I can’t tell you how much I love this song. It is embarrassing. I have listened to this so much that each one of the lyrics has embedded themselves into my skull. Yet, at half-speed, it makes each line a stanza in a poem. It makes you contemplate eye-brow wiggle as if it were the agile floppings of an interpretive dancer. This video is made into something to contemplate at half-speed.

 Super Mario Galaxy 2 – Part 6 (DASH YOSHI DISASTER) by PeanutButterGamer

PeanutButterGamer has been and always will be one of my favorite Let’s Players on YouTube. It is not because he is a particularly good video gamer, but because he has made his stint on YouTube by being a constant mess. This video is a great example of why I love PBG. Watching this at half-speed aggravates just how much a train-wreck this is. For the best viewing experience, I recommend that you start at 1:21. There is something life-changing about watching a man run Yoshi headlong into a wall while slurring and stammering like a drunk man.

Habanera | Muppet Music Video | The Muppets

This video belongs to one of the best marketing campaigns of all time. This was when The Muppets were starting to advertise for their new movie in 2011 (called The Muppets, trust me I checked.) I could have put every Muppets song on this list, however, I choose to restrain myself to just one. What makes this such a strong candidate for half-speed therapy is how the sheer absurdity of what is happening is amplified. You are forced to not just see what is happening, but relish each and every scene. By the time Animal shows up, its work has been done.


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