My Letter to (Almost) Every Woman Ever

Dear (almost) every woman ever,

Let me state that I am sorry. While it is hard for me to make a blanket statement, particularly as a human about humans, we men have a tendency to hunt you like prey. Sorry about that.

I don’t know when the problem started, probably after the fall, but I do it’s real. We gaze across crowded rooms, on the watch for the next target of our irresistible “charm”. We try and create hunting strategies, and designate friends to distract the less desirable ones. There are even classes taught by men who treat women like hunters treat bucks. Sometimes we don’t even hunt you because we want to know you, we just need a trophy to hang on the wall.

Yet, even though we know its terrible, we are terrified by the thought of you being real. The idea that you have emotions and wants that are deep and complicated is overwhelming.

To be fair, we treat every person this way. Like someone treats the surface of the ocean, ignoring the vast abyss underneath. It is far easier to believe that every human is only a vast machine of neurons vaguely contained by flesh.

Perhaps this is because we want to believe this about ourselves? I mean, can an ocean know itself? Or is it only aware of itself? We choose to believe the world and ourselves are only an inch thick. Its easier that way.

What if we can’t bear the thought of rejection? What if you find out how weak I am? So I put on the mask of confidence and give you the mask of the believer. This way we can fall in love without ever having to know each other.

Let’s make a compromise. We can treat each other as human, not as a sex-obsessed man seeking vulnerable flesh. However, this compromise can only work if we also promise to not be offended by each other flaws. We know that an ocean can’t be explored in a day and that an ocean is dynamic. It can both wild and calm, generous and stingy, shallow and deep. Therefore, let’s extend that grace to each other.

What if reality is better than a mask and rejection can be better than unchallenged ecstasy? What if we find that learning who the vast, unknowable person is better than looking for a generic mask to hang on a wall? What if we were determined to know our lovers like a scuba diver knows the ocean, one square inch at a time.


Kaiju Squid.


Thanks to Irene Lasus from Pexels. Check the photo out here:


This is not the view of First Alliance Church.

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